I guess the reason I posted in this section, is that my wife filed and left almost 8 months ago, and although working through a D at this time I still want to do whatever is possible to try to salvage the marriage. It does say divorced, but not done, and the subheading mentions that it is for those in a D but still working on the M. I may try the beginner section to see if their are more responses. In regards to not being the best to be married to for the first 15 years-well let's see. How about-controlling-manipulative-did'nt help as much as I should with the kids-worked 12 hour days-not very empathetic-demanding-more concerned about me then her. I think you get the picture. Not a drinker or partier, but not the best husband for sure. I believe the last 15 years i have tried to make many changes for the better, but it seems I am reminded of things from 30 years ago on a regular basis, and not much credit for the positive changes. In the last month I seem to have gotten over the hump of depression and thinking life is over. Although I would love to see thngs work out for us, I also can acknowledge that life will go on, and can be quite fulfilling even if I am not still married to her. I have put my emphasis on what I can continue to do to improve and change for the better and realize the only thing I may be able to do for her at this point is just treat her politely and as nice as I can without catering to her. I will have to be very careful expressing anything to her for awhile. It may need to be several months from now when she has seen that I am not going to be begging her, or lecturing her anymore on returning to the marriage. We will need to help make some of the plans for the wedding, and work together financially, along with standing in line at the reception, ect... to make sure our daughter has the best possible experience during this time. Thanks for the input and recomendations!
