Maybe that is good advice for everyone. From reading through the advice and thoughts, I put together a 'list of understanding' for a relationship.

How do the following lists sound?

1) What I originally expected in M?
2) What I think I have now?
3) What I currently expect in M?
4) What I think a perfect M would look like?
5) What am I willing to do to make it happen?

The more specific the better.

And if spouse is willing to do the same, it will help clarify everyone's position.

DH, can you answer all these questions for yourself? Does your W like lists to think about? Do you think she would be willing to answer any of these questions?

H - 47
W - 44
M - 18+ years
Separated? - 4/07
S - 13
S - 15