Please help - I need DB advice ASAP

[I'mstillhopeful]

How did you DB session go today?

Jody, my coach, is excellent! During yesterday's session I realized I hadn't really "gotten" it. My 180s had been superficial. I have gotten superficial changes as a result.
The work ahead is much more difficult requiring more judgement and judicious behavior on my part. H is conflict avoidant, I had been putting a lot of energy into making him comfortable in his home so it would be a pleasant environment for him. Some days he has been "terminally cranky" finding fault with many things. My coach has advised me to set limits on him treating me like a scapegoat.

Today is my birthday, since he showed minimal interest in extending himself to celebrate it, my 180 is to be pampering myself at an Inn which is some distance from our home. I did tell him that I may not be home tonight and, although it feels a little alien to be alone on my birthday for the first time in more than a quarter of a century I realize it is important. Thanks to Jody for encouraging me to do it. Now, blast it, I'm going to have some fun!

The wedding ring disappearing act sure is confusing!!! He must still want to be married and yet is afraid of OW seeing the ring on and giving him a hard time about it. How stressful for him, huh?

Yes, but not to obsess about it, why did he take it off when he was to be with his sister? Also, I hate to admit it, but I am always happy to see that he has replaced it. I've got to prepare for the day when that does not occur.

October is quite a ways away so hopefully, he'll change his mind and go with you...

Many of the friends from the April trip will be on the October one also. I imagine the topic will arise during April. It will be interesting to see how he responds. If he were to explicitly tell everyone he is leaving the marriage it will certainly put a damper on things. Time will tell, we'll have to see.