Bring on the Rain

[SueS]

Sheila-

Thank you so much! You know, my H does have a good and loving person in him. I know he's not a complete monster. No matter how big of an enabler I am, I wouldn't have stayed for 17 years if there weren't good times. However, although my dad wasn't a mean or violent drunk, he was a sloppy drunk. I couldn't have friends over because my mom was worried about how he'd come home. I don't want D3 to have to worry about those things. I don't want her to disrepect me because I allowed her and I to stay in it. Now, my H IS the one ending this M and maybe I would have let it continue had he not had another A. Maybe this is God's way (no matter how painful) of making me stronger and getting me out of what he doesn't want me to be in any more. My grandfather was an alcoholic too. My mom and I.....the same type of people....enablers. Although I wondered why my mom stayed, I remember her standing up to my dad, telling him to get his a$$ to rehab or not come home. Those, later, she would tell me were the hardest things she ever had to do. It didn't stop him, but it let him know where she stood. If I'd only had her strength.

H loves D3 without a doubt. H is not an every day drinker. I have come to learn though that drinks and having fun in a lot of cases, does come before D3. And, that a person does not have to drink every day to have an alcohol problem. There are all kinds of differences in alcohol problems.

One positive....H is taking 1/2 day off today and taking D3 and our niece to the Zoo. It's a bit cool today, but there are a lot of indoor exhibits AND it's one of those decent days that they'll be able to see some outside things. He also suggested that we (us & his family) all go out for dinner tonight. Now, I could do as he does with my family and suggest that just they go. But you know what? I love his family and I will always be connected to them. It's a bit sad though. My FIL has been so quiet the past few days. You can see the look of hurt. He knows that things are not good between my SIL & BIL....and between H and I. Both his sons have marriages that are ending and I know he fears losing contact with his granddaughters. My SIL and I have promised each other that we will not let that happen.

Thanks! SueS