Shades, thank you for your kinds words, it is really important for me to hear them...

I am on hormones right now and AD's and so sometimes I get a little emotional and can see myself acting like a loose cannon...but nothing I can do to stop...just let the feeling get itself out and then go from there...

Yes, it has been a million touch and go's for the past 1.5 years...before that it was sheer hell. so, I am at least that he is not spewing even if he is still in MLC and a super control freak. STILL.

I agree that when one decides to stop standing it is a gradual thing...I am not sure lightbulb moments happen. I think for now, I need to focus on me and getting myself to a good place.

That won't happen until surgery is over and I am off these meds...once I have the surgery I will be on HRT and I think that will even me out. I never used to be like this...ugh!



I know that I am not ready to throw in the towel completely...maybe because he never lets go...I don't think I would date...I am SO NOT there...I want to find my peace and just be 'me' for a while too! \:\)

I'm sorry you feel that your H will never come back, I know EXACTLY how you feel...

We'll get through this, mama...no matter what happens, we will get through this..

Hugs!
Vali

Aug '06: H moved out
July '08: H had a kid with the OW
May 12 '09: emancipation day

"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller