I want to tell a story, to illustrate how mad life can be. My best friend was with this guy, she was very into him, they had a lot of laughs...but it was volatile (he had issues looking back)...and he finished with her 13 times. Yes, 13! Unlucky for some as on the last, that was it and she dated someone else eventually. He never showed any regret. Then... 5 years later, I get a call at my desk, its him. Shes left work now but he tracked me down. He wanted her phone number (I wouldnt give it to him)..but said I would pass on his and any message...Well, an hour later on the phone and I was flabbergasted, but smiling to myself, as I knew how she had suffered and it was too late but oh the justice of it. Basically, he regretted it all, he loved her, he had always loved her, she was "the one", he'd never met anyone in the intervening years as great as her, he just was very messed up at the time and couldnt handle it (parent crap, same old same old), that he missed her (sounded tearful) and ..wanted to marry her!!! And begged me to put good words in with her for him (I tried)
5 years later. My how she felt vindicated when I told her. She never called him of course (sad isnt it?).
Just saying, you never know..but you do have to get on with your life in the meantime, and I for one have struggled with this. So just decide on a course of action T, go for it and if it backfires at least you can honestly say that you tried. I think calling him to get his address to send a card is not a good idea (too formal and how could you not get into conversation with him?). Have you not got his email address? Or any contact for his friends, so you can ask them for his email or his home address? Were you not friendly enough with your ILs to call them and ask for his address and say you are thinking of sending him a birthday card or something?? Just want to keep it light...if he wants to talk to you, he will I am sure.
Yes, your explanation makes sense, you are a stronger person than me! I begged, wailed, pleaded, sobbed, jumped his bones alot, implored and collapsed on the floor at his ankles repeatedly for weeks !! ;-)
Ali xx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
