I told W about the scheduled time for the biopsy (that is a scary word, isn't it!) Friday evening, kit was kinds of late, and she had to work Saturday, so that was about the extent of the discussion. So, Saturday evening she asked if I could drive to and from the test. I said that I don't know for sure, I have read both on the web. She checks, and she doesn't work that day, BUT, her brother is going to be here. I say, ok, I'll ask if S18 can help me out. Oh, but he doesn't get to see her brother much either, why don't you reschedule for the next week? BECAUSE I WANT TO GET IT DONE, I WANT TO KNOW! (No, I didn't yell, I did say I wanted it done.) I told her I would figure something out. I am not rescheduling. I call a cab if I have to. I know in my head that a few days isn't important, but that just isn't the point, to me.
Have I lost my perspective?
Ouch. Touchy subject matter because it reminds me of how I treated my husband when I was in MLC and he had some health issues. I don't have a solution for you...just want to say I'm sorry your wife appears to be so self-absorbed and heartless sometimes. Perhaps if she saw what everyone here sees in you she'd straighten her ass up and fly right.
Thanks to all of you! I didn't think I was bing the selfish one for wanting to get this done and out of the way, but a little (ok, a lot!) of validation sure helps!
I certainly seems that what W wants in a H and what I am are not quite the same thing. I don't think that I am that much different in real life than I am here, but that's so hard to say. Though I guess it is a good thing that I don't have to vacuum up the my thread, or fold it and put it away! Not sure where this is headed, but there may be more later!
What does your W want in her H? and how do you know?
Quite the valid question.... I don't know! The assumption that I have made that it isn't me, as I am, based on her actions. At least if is is me she has an odd way of showing it!
I'm still not at all sure where this line of reasoning is headed, but I appreciate you questions to help it get there!
Jeff, maybe if you think of what you want in your wife, it will help you think about what she wants in her h. Have you changed over the years? If so, in what ways? Do you think what she wanted in a h has changed? Just some thoughts to get you going. Hope it helps. And dont think I have forgotten our project of cleaning up the bedroom. I am cutting you some slack because you are not feeling well and I know you are concerned. Once you get that clean bill of health, and I know you will, we are starting it up again.
In the meantime, try to take care of yourself. Eat right, get enough sleep and get some exercise. And really think about the possibility that you might be depressed. And who wouldnt be living as you are? I could tell you first hand that depression can cause physical illness. I know how hard it is for men to face the possibility of going to a therapist, but that might be just what you need. Doesnt make you weak - in fact, it is just the opposite - it takes a strong person to admit they might need a little help. Just some thoughts - I hope you dont mind.
No putting yourself down Jeff!!! She obviously liked who you were or you would never have gotten M let alone had 4 kids.
I wasn't intending to put myself down. It just seems that what she wants, now, and who I am, now, don't match up. And they haven't in years. That doesn't necessarily mean that I am the one with a problem. The question is more of where to go with that.
