Worried I found DB too late #2

[cw68]

Our mutual identity definitely diminished as the years went by. Part of it, I think, it the nature of the stay-at-home Mom vs. corporate success. A lot of my entertainment activities were task oriented to replace things I was missing as a SAHM. Volunteering, grant writing, my city position. He wanted entertainment activities to give him a break from those same things. Both of us staying out blowing off steam until 2am wasn't feasible. On top of the babysitter impossibility (geographically, our closest family is in Illinois), I had two little kids to take care of the next day and doing that tired and/or hungover is a lot more difficult than suffering through a day at the office. You can plan for slow days at the office, but you can't with a 1- and 2-year old!

I know that I was personally hurt that he would fall asleep on days home while on the sofa with me and was up in bed by 10pm, but he'd go out with his friends and have no problem staying up until 2am. On the other hand, most of my friends are Moms too and it's almost impossible to get them to stay out past 11pm and I'm the night owl. H would go to bed and I'd read/surf the internet/watch a movie until Midnight or so. I really think this was a big problem.

Regarding letting house tasks take over, I totally know what you're talking about. However, right now our house is a common project that I think is helping our relationship. We bought this house two years ago with the plan to update it; we had just sold the house we did a complete renovation on. Up until recently, jack diddly was done. Again, I think it was symptomatic of our relationship. We actually do enjoy doing house projects together and we work really well together in this regard. H has even commented on it recently. So I'm all over house tasks right now! Yet if we continue together we're going to have to break out into doing other things together too.

I'm a little freaked at the possibility of seeing Kayne w/out H. I'm really intrigued by checking out the scene for the night, but I also know it's going to be pretty crazy at the same time. This is a huge 180 for me, yet it's also a 180 back to who I used to be. Risk taker, up for new thangs and the dating Cyndi easily would have gone to this concert with H before we married. A year ago I would have said, "NO WAY!"