So... I now exactly how you feel in regards to the loss of activities as a couple. The identity seems to disappear as you move through your marriage and lives with your children. We had a similar development prior to the seperation with our lives really going in different directions.
I would not say that we have made huge strides in having connectivity in OUR marriage. However, we have made an attempt to make some decisions based on our personal and mutual interests. We used to let house work and other tasks dominate our lives rather than having some occassional fun. Now, I think there are some times where we really try to spend some time together in activities that we both enjoy.
The important thing, if you can get to this point, is making it a priority to do something together every day. It does not have to be monumental, but it should be something. We seem to congragate in the kitchen during dinner and clean up. So we send the monkies to their play room and we have 10 minutes to connect emotionally. We even have a rule that this time is not to be spent "bitching" but to be catching up. It seems to work most of the time....
I think that if you can both see the differences in the "three" marriages you will be more apt to work on the collective. I really think you are doing well here the last few days... I am about your H age and while I like Kanye West I can not imagine going to the show. Kudos to you!
Me: 33 jacka** whom lied, stole, cheated, and basically treated DW like crap for years DW: 29 kind soul who gave too much to me over the relationship
S7 S4
M: 7yrs Bomb: 10/19 Seperated: 10/24
The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce
