I'd suggest several things. First of all, post in newcomers, you'll get more traffic on your thread.
I'd suggest that you continue to work on your issues. It's much easier to work on you, when it's just you. Get out. Enjoy the life you do have. Spend some time with your kids if possible. Maybe take a vacation and clear your head. You've been with this woman for many years, so it's got to be hard, but there is more to life than just her.
One thing you'll need to understand is that you can't make her do anything. You can't convince her of anything. She has to arrive at her own conclusions about you and how much your marriage is worth. So does that mean you can't do anything? No, you can show her someone worth coming back to, but she ultimately must make that choice. So, don't take any steps towards her. Stay in one place and let her come to you if she is going to. Have a fulfilling life that she would want to share with you.
When you work on this wedding, let her do most of the initiating. Let her have only limited exposure to you and make the most of the time. Be attentive, friendly, confident, and supportive, but at the same time, show that you don't need her or even necessarily want her anymore...you are good with your own life.
Just some thoughts. In the early going, it's helpful to get more responses and you will on other areas, newcomers or separated. MLC is also busy, but I'd be careful of falling into the trap of just saying, "oh, it's a disease, I just have to wait 4 or 5 years for her to snap out of it". Your primary focus should be on how do you want to change and that hopefully affects change in your spouse.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
