Bworl's post was great. "How long can you tread water?" keeps coming to mind.
Exactly! And pretty funny, too. He has a great point here. More important, though, is his point to take the focus off of her. One of the reasons you may be having so much trouble focusing on your work is because your mind is so filled up with W. Clean that stuff out. It doesn't matter. She doesn't matter. YOU DO MATTER. YOUR CHILDREN MATTER.
Ellie's point is also right on the mark. Forgiveness is key. Can you look at W as the poor messed up person that she is? Can you find the place in your heart to accept and forgive that she wasn't there for you? I know it is hard but it is essential to moving on. I'm guessing that she has already moved through that process. I'm sure she feels that you were not there for her or that you didn't live up to your end of the bargain in the marriage. Perhaps she has forgiven you for that and has accepted that that is the way it is. She "small talks" and makes jokes because she has moved on. Frank, although her actions are incredibly insensitive, downright cruel at times, I don't think your W hates you or doesn't care about you. She just doesn't want to be married to you. It's all about her right now. Take a clue from her and make your life ALL ABOUT FRANK.
Hugs,
Spitfire
PS: I still think time away from her would be a tremendous help. 24 to 48 hours of not having to deal with her at all. It might help your mental outlook improve.
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
