I feel that if I accept I have given in. However I'm also tired of fighting.
Oh, Alison, I really understand this. I felt the same way, and I still do sometimes. I feel like, by going along with the D and, in fact, accepting that it is the best thing for ME, I am validating H's decision to walk out. This has been so hard for me to deal with, and I still have not dealt with it completely.
What I try to do, is to remind myself that we can come to same conclusion for different reasons. In my case, I agree that D is the best thing for us, not b/c I am a lazy, self-centered coward(!), but b/c our M could not work with just me trying to make things better. In your case, you are going along with the D not because you think it's the right thing to do, but b/c as you say, you are tired of fighting, you want peace for yourself and for your H and children.
Alison, God judges us by the motives of our hearts, so there's no need for you to judge yourself more harshly. You've really done what you can for right now.
Love, Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
