Yes, the problems between FIL & STBX are that, their problems. And yes, MIL is running scared. My concern is not about seeing H & ow. Don't get me wrong, I have NO desire to meet her but she/they are not what is driving my decision. If STBX had asked or told me not to go I would have told him "screw you". But if I go and some crazy drama unfolds I would feel guilty. If I don't go I feel guilty. I am in a no win situation and it sucks.
Im sorry you still regret not going to your friend's father's funeral. I am afraid I will be in the same boat.
Either way, I would regret going if something happened. Not only for the friend's family but mine as well, as my IL's are my kids' grandparents and I have to have a R with them for the rest of my life. Especially since they live out of the country and STBX live across the country from me and has very little time with the kids. When my IL's want to see the kids they come to visit me. I will regret not going, I have called my friend and explained and I can only pray that I have not hurt her or her family's feelings in trying to respect my IL's. The whole sitch just stinks.
I think that if a little more time had passed between the blowout and a STBX had a little better grasp on everything it would be a different story. STBX is bottoming out in a way and everyonne (me included) are concerned about him. He has messed up EVERYTHING over the last two years. I know that is not my fault and I can't help him fix it, but I don't need to add to it either.
I will plan a trip for me and the kids to go to Chicago this summer and visit our friend on our own. That way the kids get to go and see her too, and let her know, in their own way, just how much they loved "Uncle XXX" too.
I don't feel that I am making the right decision, I feel that it is the best right decision out of two bad ones.
