I guess it's time to get to work

[Michael Mc C]

My wife has never even met the OM in person. It started as an online relationship and secret phone calls late at night. I suspected something after a picture was sent to her cell phone (she pulled the phone out of my hand and pretended she had no clue what the picture was).

Things escalated quickly after that. He walked away twice and came back twice. The second time he came back she was so far gone there was no stopping her from leaving me and the kids. Her phone never left her side (it was under her pillow while sleeping).

Can't get into all the details but OM finally saw the light and walked a way a 3rd time just after mid-December.

It has now been 3 months since their relationship ended. The last month and a half has been where I have seen things beginning to turn around and we began to talk about our marriage and how we MIGHT be able to save it. It was only last week that she said she wanted to make it work.

During this time I have bounced between elation and despair. I was elated to see us reconnecting and rebuilding and to hear that she WANTS this marriage. I felt despair when I looked back and saw how our marriage was dragged through the mud and felt no desire to carry on. I am sure that these swings are to be expected.

I still have swings but the extremes are no longer so far apart. As I have posted previously, I can easily beat myself up for letting her down with some of the things she has been telling me. I have spent the last 6 months working on my issues which I knew had caused problems in our marriage.

I won't beat myself up though because without knowing these things - without the open communication - I simply can't get an accurate reading on how WE are doing.