Not so intriguing ROOT, I just didn't do a really good job updating and left lots of gaps. I jumped all over the place and my sitch is pretty disjointed. Personally I think it's kind of long winded, and I come off sounding like a cross between clueless and "mushy". I wasn't doing half as well as I thought I was and it shows. JMO.
Great insight about our dreams giving us a way to work out the fears and pain we keep inside as we attempt to reconcile "love's illusions" and reality. I should probably put quotation marks around the word *reality* too.
Anyhow, I can really relate to the disclosure. I moved to the general area where we had few memories together but he made many (gag)memories with xOW. I have to know if John Doe has met her. A movie will come on cable and if it's one that came out in the year I lost and he's seen it, I wonder if it was with her or one of the guys.
Sometimes I insist we go to places they did go so that I can replace the memories he had with her with new ones with me. Yeah, I've got this licked. I'm reaaaal healthy.
He *was* really cute when we went to a particular carnival last month though. As we got out of the car, I said "This is my first (carnival)!" He said, although he'd been the last two years, that this was his first one too. Because he was with me. He even teared up. Awww. See, do what works.
I wrote and deleted lots of posts about (not so) little white lies. Lies of omission. Watching that new game(?) show, The Moment of Truth-- I told him I was inventing the home edition. HA! It's got us discussing some good stuff though. Um, I also bought him some Pinnochio undies and said "Lie to me, baby..." OK so my personality is a bit warped-- but he does answer questions. Doesn't seem to open up on his own as much as he did. I don't blame him, it's tough to talk about and why the heck bring it up. [His thoughts. I think. We know how well I read his mind.]
Maybe I needed the more forthcoming and remorseful H in the beginning to feel secure enough. I miss the more frequent glimpse into his emotions, but happy is definitely more fun and healthy.
I think.
I always tell myself we have the next half of our life to get it all out there if we do this right.
I love how you expressed how disclosure feels-- like being trusted with the information. Exactly. Thank you for that.
