Sleeping arrangements can be over glamorized. I swear.. my new theory is to treat anyone who's being unreasonable like a cat. Ignore them long enough and eventually they seek you out.
I've found 'cat thought' to be quite helpful. Even if it doesn't work, it's always good for an inner chuckle.
About the wedding ring, why not just stop checking if it's there or not? Actions speak louder than words, or finger slippage. And he probably sees you watching. As precious as a ring is as a symbol of wedlock, it's just a thing. If it's used to manipulate or becomes a barometer for your emotional wellbeing, then it's not helping. Anyway, looking into his eyes tells you more than sneaking peeks at his finger.
Repeat after me.. actions speak louder than words... his and yours.
I'm slowly learning that the little voice within, what some people refer to as a bullsh*t meter, often knows what the truth is. It doesn't have the filtering or denial of the heart and mind. Regardless if he's lying or telling the truth, you know him better than anyone else in the world. If something doesn't seem right, then something doesn't seem right.
The question is.. what do you do with this imprecise intutitive nugget of insight? Accuse him, be righteous, succumb to sadness, DR? Personally, I'm beginning to get to the point where I try and step out of the box (after an appropriate amount of internal wailing) and focus on what the big picture is. How will doing X, Y or Z effect my personal well being, long term goal, family.
I've always been a dog with a bone, gnawing and holding onto it during tough times. This personality trait has been helpful when persistence is needed.. but with this whole unbelievable situation.. it's just not good. I'm finally learning what the phrase "pick your battles" entails. Before I picked every battle. Now I'm learning to let things slide, step aside from what looks like dog poo.. even if they're things that before would have seemed insurmountably hurtful or just plain wrong.
It is what it is.
I am who I am.
If I behave in a fashion which reflects the good and true in me, then .. heck.. I'm just a swell person! And that's worth taking to the bank.
