She is so peaved at me she just called me on the cell from the next room. I hate this and have had just about enough. I think she is peaved because she feels like I am holding her back from dating other guys. I am going to have a long chat with my L tomorrow.
Talked to the W this morn. Discussed current living arrangements.
They are currently a bad. Not getting along well.thus a bad decision.Living in limbo (transition) is not a good idea We discussed that D would bad decision also. So there are two bad decisions.
I am currently trying to talk her into going to Retrovaulli.
Why are you trying to talk her into Retrouvaille???? You two are nowhere near where you could possibly get away with that!
Tree, this is PRESSURE of the highest order. You are putting her on a ledge and starting to push her off.
Are you trying to force a divorce? If so, I apologize, because you are doing a perfect job of it.
For Pete's sake leave her alone, and stop with the pressure!!!!
Sorry to be so blunt, but you need a 2X6 to the side of the head right now.
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
I am in a bad spot. I have a W that is a Manic Depressive with sever anger issues stuck in MLC that feels that I am holding her back from running around foot loose and fancy free all over town. She has told me that she has feelings, freindly feelings for another man. She says he is just a friend. (Dr. Phil said yesterday that in a situation like this the words Just and Friend do not go together). She is being as nasty as she can to me and my children. She pays no attention to the kids at all but to feed them and run out the door. Everyday I feel like cra* over this situation and I don't know how much further me and the kids can hang on. I love my wife, or whom my wife use to be, very much. She has issues she has to face and will not. I am working very on me doing DB exercises, seeing MC's, Pysc's and working totally on all the issues that i have contributed. She is not budging in this situation and putting in no effort. She has told me many times she does not love me. I heard her on the phone with her friends laughing and making light of our sitch which I think is very seriuos. She will make every effort to hurt me or be nasty.
I am stuck between a rock and a hard spot. Why? Because the living situation that we currenty employ is no good. We bicker, argue and do nothing good in front of our three lovely boys. So living together in our house is a bad idea. She will not leave and I have been advised by all not to leave the house. Bad idea #2 is getting Divorced! I don't want this but the W threatens this everyday like she is holding a gun to my head. She has three feet out the door. She is going to see her L next week to talk to her L about next steps. I saw a new very powerful L today for the first time. I told her(lady L) that i did not want a D and I wanted to R and did not want to be more than three feet from my kids at all times but she said it is not up to me. She assured me that the figures for alimony and support that my W is giving me are fictious and dreamy. My L knows her L well and said that she paints a real rosey story and winds up smelling like shi*. My L says she starts off with the sh**y news and then winds up smelling like a rose. I feel like may back is against a wall and i had to go talk to a L that knew what she was talking about.
Good idea #1. Go to an emergency room for marriages such as Retrovialle. I have talked to two of their coaches and they think this is the time to do it before either of us files for divorse. I feel like I am at the end of the road and I am reaching for straws. She has no interest in MC's anymore for they "can not help us with our problem".
I love my wife, I love my kids, I don't want a Divorce, I do not want my wife running out the door every night but this is not about what I want. The question is how long can this go on and how long can I and the kids handle her childish behavior.
Does anybody have a good idea #2 or #3. Talk to me brother!
Tree, you have read enough on this site to know one thing.
If it is indeed MLC, there is nothing you can do to force the situation. You have to ride it out. Can you do that?
That is why suggesting MC, IC and Retro is just going to make her push back harder. In her mind, she is 100% in the right and you are a complete buffoon, and she can't imagine why she ever wanted you in the first place. That's in her mind. Of course we know it isn't true, and she is temporarily insane, but you'll never convince HER of that.
Read some of the stories in MLC forum...especially the ones posted by folks who came back out of the fog.
They will be the first to admit that they were miserable, unhappy and confused the whole time, while they told everyone around them that they felt released, free and unbelievably happy. And now that they are back, they appreciate that their spouses stood by their side, even through all the crap.
So, once again, is it MLC? Sounds like it. I am no expert, but everything I have read, here and elsewhere, says that it is a process. The lucky ones get through it in months...the unlucky ones, they take years.
Do you have what it takes to stand by, not react, BE CONSISTENT, be there for your boys, and see what happens?
We can guarantee that if you keep the pressure on, she will make a decision...but it's not going to be the one you want.
