Bad dreams

[runningoutoftime]

Thanks for all the great comments and messages. Deauxlie I'm so intrigued by your post I'll have to read your threads when I have some extra time...

I wonder if some of our dreams could be the fears we try to keep at bay when trying to reattach and rebuild our marriages. The fears are real and we have a right to them, and yet we can't allow them to paralyze and control us. Somehow we have to have at least some belief in our marriages again.

I know I'm getting there, but it has been a winding path for me. Not so bumpy anymore, but more curved... I feel good in me, and I even have positive feelings most of the time for my husband, but I just feel so much more comfortable in my independence it's hard to give that up.

By the way, one positive thing... my husband actually answered a few of my questions. Not in too much depth (very typical), but it was some information. He told me a little about the overnight trip they took to Disneyland (when they got very drunk and had sex). That they didn't stay at the Disneyland Hotel, and instead were at a friend's condo. I have to say, this made me feel much better. I think of the Disneyland Hotel as more romantic and I had figured I'd never stay there again. So maybe now I would....maybe.....

Originally, a group of people from their class had planned to go stay there at the condo, and go to Disneyland for the day, but in the end they were the only two that actually went.

He shared with me that although he originally liked some things about her, there were things he didn't like (?). He said she was an unhappy person.

As I mentioned, he didn't go into any great detail, but just getting some information made me feel a little closer to him. I felt like he was confiding more and hiding less (although I'd still like to know every little bit of information... Unfortunately I tend to be a relentless seeker of info....).

I find that I'm super bothered by the idea of him "hiding information." I find that the more he tells me, even if it's painful, the better I feel because then it's not hidden. And I'm being trusted with the information....