Out of the Blue?

[kturnernc]

It is all good Jandn. We all make mistakes.

Anyway... the Easter update. I guess not all bad came out of the talk or arguement or whatever it should be called. W seemed almost normal when talking as of late. We are still both avoiding talking about our R completely. It is maddening. The only things we talk about are our kids, bills, and chit chatty stuff. Ever since she dropped the IDLY bomb, that has been it. No closure, nothing. I do not know how to get through some of this if we don't discuss some things. She has not persued meeting with our counselor and setting a time to do couples. She has just dropped it.

So, Easter I asked her could she come pick up the boys because it would be easier for me traveling wise for my plans. I really had none, but just did not see a reason to make the trip. Well, she agreed to that. She also told me that she thought her mom had a stroke and was taking her to the ER. I really like her mom and was very concerned. Her mom does not have very good health and has complained about chest pains in the past. So she ended up talking about her mom and then hung up on a fairly good note. The next morning she shows up to pick up the boys, mom is in the car. They had been at the hospital all night. We had a decent discussion about mom and easter and what the boys did. Oldest had lost a tooth overnight. So the Tooth Fairy came. I had been keeping the teeth and gave it to her to keep in the collection. There was a small discussion about me keeping it because it was lost here. I told her that even though I would love to keep it, it belongs with the other teeth. I got her a card from the boys for Easter. I did not sign it. I recieved one from her signed with love from her and both boys. Her name was first (am trying to read something into this).

Then came the nightly good night call for the boys. She got on after and told me that she needed to ask me a favor and that due to classes and work, could I take off work to watch the boys on wednesday. I told her that I would check, but as I told her before this is a very crucial time for my project and since I was taking off the next week to be with oldest for surgery that I had to get a lot of stuff done. She blew up. Suddenly I am being unreasonable, unhelpful, and foolish. She told me that I did not need to take off the entire week to be with him because her family would be there. HA!! I have been with him during every hospital stay for the whole time except for one overnighter where i stayed at home with the youngest. I am not about to change that now. Anyway, i told her that I would have to clear some stuff today and would get back to her. Since I am my own manager, i knew I could but did not want to give in immediately to her. Well, today I am sick. Cant keep anything down. Other than that, I am ok. I left a message stating that I could keep the kids on wednesday and was at home sick that if she wanted to talk to call me at home. She called back immediately. Asked me what was wrong and if she needed to bring me anything over. I told her no that I was set and would talk to her later so that I could rest.

So the holidays went well except for sickness. I am very interested to see how things progress with her. I want to make her address this mess she has made but I do not want to drive her away. Parts of me wish i could just walk away from all of this and let the cards fall how they may, but I can't. The kids complicate things and my love for all of them would cripple me if i even tried. Oh well, one day at a time.