Hummmm..... I don't know if you can detach to the point of having no possibility of reattaching. I've actually met quite a few people who divorced for awhile and then got back together and remarried. I just think it's not always so easy to "reattach." Probably because you're trying to create a new relationship and it's difficult to balance reattaching with some of the positives you gained from detaching.
I know with in my own marriage I did have to completely "let go" of it. The way I described it was that I left the "door open," but didn't stand there trying to lure him in or talk him into walking through it. I figured, until the divorce was final the door was "open." And in the meantime, rather than focus on what he was doing I'd work on me and creating a great "place to live." Walking through that door would have to be his decision entirely. And I didn't want him walking through it unless he was completely certain he wanted to be with me.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
