I honestly believe he won't use it against me but I was told that if he tried to that yes I wouldn't look good in front of the judge but it would not cause me to lose my kids. I was told this by a legal pro. today when I inquired.
We shall see.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
"Well I still believe that there is some of that as part of this given that he is trying to live like a 20 something with no responsibility by clubbing and bar hopping with the GUYS and drinking drinks he has never before had. I don't know though, maybe he, hell I just don't know FG on this one."
Thank you for saying "I don't know." Until you know leave the MLC out as what the problem is.
"Well when I say talking like old friends I mean that there isn't tension and discomfort from him. But that could very well be because I am doing everything in my power to be that girlfriend and not that wife/mother figure that he maybe felt me to be before."
But what specifically are you talking about? General synopsis will do. I don't need the gory details. Just the high points.
"What am I missing here?"
My sarcasm.
"If he had actually gotten a box of condoms I would have laughed. You see he and I had always been very open about sexual fantasies with others but they were always fantasy. He did actually try with his best friend once last June though to persuade me to be with them both as that had been something we had talked about but I paniced and didn't go through with it."
Very interesting. I am actually a little surprised on that one. Maybe I should not be. I keep forgetting he is not the physical one in the relationship.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
Ok, when you wrote about your PA, the bravdo, the "I've got a f** buddy, the I couldn't careless attitude, I saw all of that in my W. In fact when I tried to discuss it with her she just told me whats done is done, get over it. That comment hurt just as much as the PA. What I didn't see directly from W was the shame, the guilt, the emotional distress that she would be feeling. Forrest told me she would be feeling this, but I couldn't see it . Reading your sitch now, I could just see the other point of view, I can nowsee my W expressing all of those emotions, based on the way she is now behaving.
Right now Forrest tells you to back off from H, I would more say be wary of H cos right now he's gonna try to fix what he sees as the immediate problem, the A, not your R or your M hes gonna try to fix the A. We DAM try to fix things in the way we know how so H has sized you and the opposition up by asking in depth about the A. Now when he gets the chance he'll try to fix it, that's why I posted what I did in my previous post.
I'll spell this out for you from H "If I f*** you to within an inch of you life why would you want anyone else" ok if this happens H restores his pride and boosts his ego but it doesn't fix the R. That's why Forrest tells you to back off (not ignore or go dark) cos this phase is gonna get like the Giffon cos H is gonna come at you full force.
Specifically we are talking about politics yes like housing, finances, the fact that he had no F'ing clue that the paperwork he filed cost what it did and had to borrow the money from his dad and that he didn't even read the important parts of it, his life and what he is spending time doing, how work is going for him, etc... Very little about me personally other than the jokes he throws out about PA. He isn't asking me about me but talking a great deal about himself and his life.
Sorry to have missed your sarcasm.
Why do you find that last part interesting? Are you being sarcastic again when you say he is not he physical one yet he is the one that trid to initiate this fantasy ordeal last summer?
OH p.s. FG he has also apologized more for this having happened and the effect it has on the kids. I have heard "I'm sorry" more in the last 4-5 days than I have in 3 months.
Last edited by mymonkeybug; 03/24/0811:56 PM.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
OK thanks for the explanation. I can honestly only say that I hope H does go Griffon on me...lol. Remember FG I am the physical one.
So let's say he does "F*** me to within an inch of my life" then what? He does because I let him and he feels he nixed the A but then we continue on this path and are like, "OK we did the deed but that doesn't change US, we are still seperated and I still want to divorce you Heather." Is that what I would have to look forward to?
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
Doing a "Giffon" (lol) this only sorts you out (temporarily), but it does not fix your M.
Im my sitch spent so much time trying to sort out my W's PA before I relised that it wasn't the most significant factor, I needed to look deeper for answers. Your H needs to look deeper if a) he himself gets a clue. or b) you back off and allow him to find it.
Just reading back on some of the stuff FG has written, I think he's trying to tell you that your H is more Physical than you think but he just need the room and the tacit encourament to express it.
OK so if my H is so physical why in the hell did he pull away physically as he did. I mean from a guys point of view why would either of you do it? Even if you were in a M like ours and you felt whatever you felt or didn't feel for your W...if you had a W that literally would throw herself at your feet to please you why wouldn't you jump at every opportunity? I thought men LOVED sex and couldn't get enough of it.
Is it a matter of oversexed W and a H that felt he could no longer feed the W's needs/desires? I don't know, grasping at straws here.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
