Yes, their stupidity about this (even when they are brilliant in other ways) is certainly mind boggling.
Kind of reminds me of a good friend I had in High School. She had a math scholarship to Berkley and I remember one night we went out and some guys were getting into a brawl. She thought we should intervene (like that would be a smart idea for two tiny weakling women!) while I grabbed her arm and said, "Hey, we're outta here!!!"
Some people lack sense. One fear I had about my husband divorcing me was that some witch would get a hold of him and make my children's lives miserable. I didn't trust him to have the sense to figure out a good and mentally stable female from a manipulative user. He's just not that savvy. If he did find someone "good" it would have been pure luck.
Anyhow, on a positive note, sometimes they do learn from this, and looking back they can't believe how foolish they were. I wouldn't be at all surprised if this is what happens with your wife. Hang in there.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
