I know it sounds backwards, but I can promise from my own experience that my W's efforts in the critical area helped me to want to fight so much more for me and my marriage. She needed not to do a thing because I had been such an arse, but she cares enough about this family (now) that she works on the same issues. They came hard and fast too because I am so scatter brained, but she really does an excellent job of holding in the critical comments right/wrong/indifferent.

So, as with everything else in marriage, it is a two way street. He has some issues that he needs to personally address and work on as do you but I am convinced that if you work hard on this ONE part of your approach you can have HOPE!!!!

Have you read any of Gottman's book? I think that Michelle's stuff is great and I would not be here if it weren't for DB, but we have also gotten great reward from Gottman as well! Get reading!!!!

One thing that I think you may need to address first is understanding the Harsh Start-ups. If you are as similar to my W as I think, this will help you and your M greatly!

I am super proud of you!!!

Me: 33 jacka** whom lied, stole, cheated, and basically treated DW like crap for years
DW: 29 kind soul who gave too much to me over the relationship

S7
S4

M: 7yrs
Bomb: 10/19
Seperated: 10/24

The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce