new, my comment was to show that your sitch isn't as crazy as you think. I think many people go into a R deciding at some point that they should live together to see if things would work, but I think for some, not all, it lessens their commitment when they finally do make those vows. Society plays a big part in that as well, "when things get tough, don't stay miserable, find something better". I'm sorry I brought it up, it was poor timing on my part. It really doesn't matter what happened in your past, you goal is to save your M and that is what is important.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
You are so right! And I have been feeling better over the last couple of days.
H and I took the morning off to do some shopping and to go to our MC session. We had a nice lunch afterward. It went well- at C, we focused on some of his past family issues, which have an impact on everything else in his life. Some emotional, powerful stuff, that he really needs to deal with. We exchanged ILYs afterward and a small kiss.
We talked in the car for a little while before C and he told me that he thinks we'll be OK in the end. And I said "When is the end going to be?" He said soon and I told him that I wanted things to be better than OK. He told me that he thinks we can be happy. He kissed me goodbye when he left this afternoon.
Sounds good, I know, but it's time to reign in those expectations again.
((((na)))) I am so happy for you. That sounds like a big step for your H to tell you those things and for him to say ILY. Continue to be patient and TRY to keep those expections in check. Things are moving in the right direction for you.
Thanks guys. H came over late last night. I got a good night kiss! Woohoo!
I just hope he keeps up with the "working on himself". He's been seeing an IC on and off for a couple of years njow and I don't think they've accomplished much. Our MC is goal-oriented, so I think he's likely to see more progress talking to her.
