FInally Snapped.

[Cinderellaman]

Well, MIL just called to let me know the kids and H are on their way home....we spoke a while...she tried to talk to H, but he is CERTAIN that ow is the one for him. He told his mother that we will NOT get back together. She said that she feels terrible because she will turn 70 this summer and she wanted me there, but H says that he will bring ow !

I feel that at the moment, even though, I know that things are the way they are....I am being hit with swords, one after the other....and sometimes I don't think that I will be able to take it much longer. I pray for strength, but have none.
I cannot believe that H is SO very happy and in love with ow ! She must be WONDERFUL.

I know...it may not have anything to do with her.

But even so, I will not be anything like her in his eyes. I am the one he dumped and got hurt by, fed up with and left.

Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself today.
What else can one do when your heart feels torn into a million pieces again, when all you feel is that you are being replaced in even the areas where you thought you never would be..what if one day he says that he thinks ow will be a better mother to our children and then takes away the kids from me?

I know that God is supposed to stand right next to us through all of this, and he probably is trying to teach me the best of lessons, but does he not see, how much pain they bring ?

I sit here crying, and doubting myself as a mother, as a person, as a wife...

I'm sorry guys, I just needed to vent...none of this is useful.