How's it going? I'm sorry to keep you waiting for so long, I've been away from the board since Thursday. I was thinking about your goals, and thought to myself that it would be a good time for both of us to re-read the DR section on goal-setting. I'm going to try to re-assess my own goals also.
Originally Posted By: enlightenbylife
me ---->it's good to come to these boards but sometimes I need to pick up a book instead therefore GAL without H as the main focus
I love to read too. Maybe refine the goal to include a list of books you've been meaning to read? Include weekly trips to the library or bookstore? Weekly trip to someplace quiet to read?
Originally Posted By: enlightenbylife
---->enrolled in my support group although I was scared to death because I had never reached out so far to other people therefore 1) meeting new people 2) sharing my experiences in hopes of helping others positive feedback for me
Specific goal would be to attend a certain number of support group meetings a month? Maybe arrange to meet some of your new friends after the support group meetings?
Originally Posted By: enlightenbylife
---->get back to my passions, cuddling puppy,stop nagging kids, sewing,putsing around the back yard
I like this one too! Maybe a goal of getting the yard in good shape? Planting a new garden? Going a whole week without nagging the kids?
Originally Posted By: enlightenbylife
---->laughing and putting a positive spin on things ( really hard but doable)
What makes you laugh and/or feel positive? Add that to your goals!
I don't have anything to add to your R goals. I think you've done a great job. Try to remember that now is the time to focus on you! Hugs...
I haven't been on the boards posting because things have been very busy/crazy around here.
Financials of the seperation are sooo hard.Mentally and although My lawyer is a barracuda, I feel bad for h. He is going to loose it.
Some things H and i had a verbal agreement on, he had gone back on his word.
I guess I should have been wiser. I am now!
I hadn't talked or seen him in nearly 3 wks (opposite shifts) and when I called him this week I wanted to get together to write down the contents of the house and garage.
Things have gone missing and I know he was using them in his house to renovate, I wanted to make sure that some of it it came back. Well he came in from work and he asked if I wanted to get started.
I started to write down the things from the first floor. items and he lost it.
I talked very calmly and old him that when I was looking for some of the things in the garage, there was some things missing.
I also talked about how he changed some of the things on the financials and he said it was in case I wanted to screw him around.
I told him I wouldn't do that right from the start.
When I was telling him this it was really eerie the way he was looking at me.
We were looking right into each other's eyes and not waivering away. I did not cry or change into my usual avoidance stance and I think this really set him back.
He right away started to yell. He lost it.
When he came to load up for the second time I asked if he wanted cookie sheets, and other small stuff from the house.
no, no thanks, no
I felt so bad and I told him so. I also told him that it could have been so much easier.
God, I still love the jerk!
I also told him that I would pack up some other stuff in boxes for him.
My youngest son heard him spew and was pretty angry. He yelled for us to stop but h kept going. When H told him to help he said no.
There is no happiness right now here.
I bawled my eyes out not right when he left but about two hours later.
I know this needs to happen but it doesn't make it any easier
My heart is heavy
E
"Sometimes in the winds of change, we find our true direction"
((((((((((E)))))))))) I know there isn't a thing I can say to make it better, but I might be able to find some chocolate. And all the hugs you need. I am glad to hear that you maintained your dignity, though. You know where to find me.
