Hey V, you know I have a very good friend of mine who's parents went through a lot of the same as you are.
His parents separated when he was very young. They "dated" each other for 8 years, that's right, 8 years while separated. Continued their physical relationship throughout the separation.
They both actually had other R's during this time as well. Neither one ended up getting too serious, but they had other people in their lives for short periods of time.
When he was 16 his mom told him they had to have a serious talk. he assumed it was the we are getting divorced talk, but instead it was the dad is coming home talk. His mom swears that the physical R was their connection and what brought them back together in the end was the fact that they both always knew there was a connection.
8 years V, this went on for 8 years. Before his father passed away last year, his mom and dad celebrated their 50th anniversary together.
Ian, you have got to be kidding me! And here I thought I was the only insane one...
I don't really 'date' my H. He comes over we talk about stuff---the house, the finances...I usually am busy doing something...washing, feeding the dogs...I don't cook for him anymore since the time he asked me if I had poisoned his food. I figured: F*CK YOU. Not gonna cook for you anymore, you piece of shite. So I don't. Anyway, I am not sure he wants that...he starts to freak out if I start acting like a wife to him...so I treat him pretty casually...
Is there a connection? Sure, a physical one...but that is really it. I mean, he NEVER brings up R talk and if I mention the obvious...he either 1. Ignores it or 2. Has to leave/hang up/quits texting.
I have to admit that your story of them getting back together after 8 years is mind-boggling! I cannot even imagine doing this for 8 years...but who knows...I really have no desire to do anything except work on me...make my life what I want it to be...I do not have children so that connection does not exist...however I DO have bubbies and they are like my kids and we are both very attached to them...
Your story really is inspirational...makes me believe that I am not crazy...and who knows what the future holds!
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Vali, thats why i put dated in ""... They didnt go to dinner or the movies sweetie......
Let me tell you one other thing, they were a very happily married couple when things did reconcile. I think they both learned a lot over that period of time.
Aaaaah! okay, so I am a little slow on the uptake!
It would be nice to be very happily married...one of the big obstacles will be his family...they didn't like me much before...especially his mother...jealousy on her part, I think. That is a BIG thing for him...his family...he is like the Patriarch and it is this huge macho sh*t for him. I don't really believe that he will choose me over them, which is why he is okay with where we are at.
I hold on to the hope that this will not affect the future but I have to admit that it is seems very bleak. I know we should not let our families intrude or worry about them...he used to keep his family out of our business and I was the one that sorta let my parents talk too much...then I had this big blow up with them and I didn;t talk to them for a couple of years and then he told my brother that we were getting a divorce and that I would need my parents support...I mended fences and my parents have really just stayed out of it...they were shocked and they have lost all respect for MLM
Anyhow, I should probably tell you that pretty much all the estrogen is depleted in my system and I find myself having very aggressive thoughts---especially regarding him. LOL!
Hope that doesn't freak you out.
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
BND, saying prayers for you! I knew this would work out!
I am thinking of finishing my graduate degree as well...it is daunting but I think I can do it!
This will be good for you...to finish and to be an inspiration to your kids...but most importantly this will be something you do for YOURSELF...a goal you have had for a long time...
Good things come to those who wait!!!!
It is a happy Easter indeed!
Valentine
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
