I think W wants us both... HELP!

[Hope4us]

Boundaries = Good. I think when i finally set some boundaries it began our possible progress forward.

One night a couple months ago I told WW I would not live in a loveless marriage and would not put up with her continuing to have contact with OM. I told her to make her choice. She asked if she could have a couple days to think about it. Then a few days later she said she wanted a divorce (which told me she wouldn't quit talking to OM). Of course she was mad about me exposing her STD to OM also, but I think she was trying to scare me into backing down. So I said to her, "I can't stop you if that's what you want to do, but I won't help and I will not agree to a 'friendly divorce'. I will get my own lawyer and counter sue on the grounds of adultery. I will fight for custody of our son and I will tell the kids that I'm not ok with the divorce and the reason WHY we're headed that way".

And I think, even though she won't admit it, that conversation gave her some respect for me. And my contuining to GAL that I had been doing for a week or so before that gave her more respect and now she's starting to respond. 7 weeks later she's going to hang around for "at least" two more years. That's a big change from "I want a divorce, it's what I want".

Like Puppy said, setting up those boundaries may end your marriage, but do you want your marriage at all costs or do you want some respect in life, with our without your wife?