New to the forum. Waw left/filed for D with no warning Aug 07 2 weeks after youngest of 6 kids went to college. We had 3 months of good meetings, dates, discussions. She made lots of upbeat comments during this time, gave me more info on her unhappiness than the previous 30 years, and I did all the no-no's. Plead, cried, lectured, ect. She would call at 1 am and tell me how lonely she was, and that she did not like to work full time or live alone (100 miles away and no family). I would run there and fix the broken car, sick dog, ect... In Dec she had her attorney call to say no more contact. 3 weeks go by with none and the phone calls start again. After responding to a late night call and going there at 3am (no intimatcies since she left) and spending 12 hours together on new years day/night she filed a protection order and accused me of sexual assault in early jan, 2 weeks after the "incident". Since that time it seems to be full speed ahead with the big D (or at least as fast as these things go). Several of my kids have exressed their unhappiness with the D, and especially with the po and the criminal charge. To date nothing has happened with the criminal charge as the cops think it was what it is-invalid. My one son got married this last weekend and let her know that with the po in place we both could not be there and that meant she was not invited. Really sad. My youngest daughter is getting married in June and my wife has told her that she will do something with the po so that she and I can plan and attend the wedding together. I readily admit that for the first 15 years I was not a joy to be married to. Although I do not drink, we attend church every week and there has never been any infidelity on my part (several ea's and 1 pa on her part) that it is evident that with all my trying to improve the last 15 years I have not met her en's. I think she is has several challenges (besides me) in being involved in sexual abuse when 11, divorced parents (mom married 5-6 times), hormonal issues, negative family support. At this point I have worked through the hoplessness phase and have seen that there will be life after divorce, even if there is no $ left. I have done enough checking, that I do not believe there is a current ea or pa. I do think she is making some very irrational choices that are not typical of her and know that for us to ever work out, SHE must choose something other than a D. Heavens knows I still have alot to work on. I am curious what I should/should not do in the next few months as we plan this wedding and all that goes with it. This may indeed be the last chance to make a better impression on her than I did the first 3 months she had left, although she says I did everything perfect then. Apparantly, too perfect, or there too much or what ever. Ideas??
