It needed to be done. I know it hurts like hell, but it absolutely needed to be done. So long as she was getting some of her needs met by OM, and then most of the rest of them by you, she was never going to choose, and besides, it's just not right.
It's also doing nothing for your self-respect and self-esteem.
Now, she STILL may not make the choice you want her to make, but unfortunately you don't get to control that. All you can do is lay out your personal boundaries, and enforce them, and it sounds like you just took a huge first step in that.
