Affair is over and WW is responding

[Hope4us]

Hang in there DMB. I'm not sure what advise I can give you. In my sitch, OM moved ~300 miles away and as funny as it sounds, I think that set us back some. By them NOT being together more often, it made it harder for them to get on each other's nerves. I saw evidence that if I could have just waited it out that they would have eventually imploded, but I just couldn't take the disrespect and abuse any longer and that's when I exposed. It ended the affair eventually but I think there are some lingering issues because WW didn't end it herself. I think we may get there in the end, but I don't know if the timing would be the same if they would have finally got on each other's nerves enough to end it or it ended the way it did.

WW got home last night from her mom's (DS15 stayed) and started talking to me again. She either got through her trigger or being alone for the drive home gave her time to think. I saw this morning that her new GF at work is having trouble with the new "love of her life". Seems the new love is "smothering" her. I've talked about this new friend before. She's young, married her husband 66 days after meeting him and one week after their first anniversary filed for divorce. She then met the new love of her life a month or so later (maybe before she filed, who knows) and now the new love is smothering her. And this is the friend that WW listens to. Not her life long friends that tell her she's f'd up. Anyway, WW was saying in her text's with this GF that she is enjoying it when I go out and leave her alone, but when I do that she seems to respond to me. Talk about screwed up. She enjoys being alone, but when I do leave her alone, she tries to re-engage with me.

So it's more time and space for her! I really think her responding to me early last week probably scared her and she pulled back some. I returned to the LRT and now she's responding some again.

Yesterday while I was home alone all day I found myself getting really angry with her for all she's done. It sure makes it easier to detach when I think of things that way. I've kept a text message the OM sent her last Oct (that I forwarded to my phone) as a reminder when I start to get down we're not making any faster progress. That TM lets me detach further. Bad part is that the more I detach, the less I feel myself wanting to make this marriage work. I posted just that on another thread. To get what you want you have to detach, but the more you detach the more chance you won't want to make it work when WW finally starts coming around. It's kind of a double edged sword.