Purr has lost all hope. WAW/ MLC Second Thread

[AliSuddenly]

Purr... I dont know where to begin, really I dont!! Theres no way she was saying all that stuff just because she doesnt want to hurt you...this is about her and her feelings (confused). My god man, you want to pull the plug and shes throwing you life lines left right and centre! (they're not long enough to reach you yet, but shes throwing them out all the same). If pulling the plug is the last thing you want to do, then DONT DO IT !!!

I seriously think she is having some major transit of sorts that is making her want to break free and rebel, but she is also concious that you mean alot to her and she is confused. I dont doubt that it hurt a tremendous amount to hear her say she thinks maybe you should have a break and date others..but then she suggested getting back together at the end of that!? She didnt just say that for your benefit, no way.

I said it before...you need to be the big person here and if you truly love her...let her go. Tell her you understand she is struggling at this juncture in her life with whats gone before and the next stage of her life, shes trying to reconcile some childhood issues, some long standing issues, that its tough for her, she feels got at, pinned down, trapped... that she needs a period of time to spread her wings and find out what she really wants...and that as you love her, you give her your blessing..

The next bit is up to you, but if you can handle it and your prepared to wait, I wouldnt be surprised if by letting her go, she comes back to you eventually. You sound like a lovely man, shes 43..realistically...decent partners are thin on the ground at that age! They're either M with kids, or going through MLC themselves !! And the ones that are perpetually single still, are probably not worth bothering with ;-) She'll find out...

You said she started out by admitting shes not ready to work on things yet (she still wants her freedom)..but when you pressed her it didnt go anywhere..well, I guess thats because she hasnt worked through all her feelings yet and is afraid of making any promises or commitments to you, she still wants to be "free"

She doesnt seem very happy though does she? Life is not a bed of roses for her...she cried when you got to the car! And hugging for 10 minutes? Thats amazing, thats really intimate and shows a strong bond between you both still.

You said.. She said no, maybe we wouldn't have to end the relationship. I'm like WTF--how would that work...you and I would be seeing other people, sexually involved with them, but still sort of in a relationship with each other (and no doubt, a non-sexual one). She said that sometimes people take a break and then get back together after being with others.
Ok, that must have been tough to hear never lone contemplate. I think its a bit nonsense really, shes clearly very confused but the overriding message I get from all of the above (whether she manages to see someone else or not, and cross that bridge if and when it happens)...SHE WANTS TO KEEP YOU IN HER LIFE ! Its not over for good.

And its really positive she wants you to not only make the MC appointment, but email it to her so she doesnt forget!? Remember you were saying in a previous post how it was all over, so much so you didnt imagine she'd even go to another C session ! You see, you were wrong about that...you just dont know, you cant second guess.

I think you need to work on how you interpret things. I know I did this on my thread (and others would be shouting at me..BUT THIS IS POSITIVE! Why cant you see that?) and it is harder when you're in the thick of it...but seriously, you seem to have interpreted it as pretty hopeless, but I didnt ! Why do you think you are intepreting it so negatively? Is it just that it hurts so much? Another example...you had assumed (or thought the worst) that she doesnt miss you, and when you said this, she looked shocked and said she does! I guess she hasnt been that open with you, so what else can you do but assume the worst, with so little feedback. But just bear this in mind..things arent always what they seem. Look at her actions..she ended it, then keeps you in her life, hugs you, is weepy, is committed to MC, wants to meet you before she goes away...it all builds up a picture of a confused woman running from something, but that she isnt done with you.

I think she doesnt want you back now, or to work on things, just yet, but if you DO want her back one day, then this is very much a case of time here I think. You need to give her time and space and almost give her permission by the sounds of it...sounded to me like she was almost asking for your approval. About the MC, I'm not sure about that, if she feels got at and under pressure, maybe its counter-productive at the moment? The MC is about working on the R and if she really doesnt want to yet, it cant be helping the sitch I suppose. Anyone else got any thooughts on this??

Thinking of you as always, sorry you got so upset, but remember...you are a great catch !! Shes lucky you're still hanging around giving her all these chances :-)
Ali x