Hi all,

I have been away from the board for a while. I pop in sometimes and read but I haven't posted much. Not that much was happening.

And then...

Well we had a court date on the 18th and STBX agreed to jurisdiction in AZ. \:\) We also agreed to some other general stuff and put it on record. We agreed to a temporary Spousal Support and Child Support and are working on the details for the final. Oh yeah, STBX has a JOB!!!!!! WAHOO!!!!

It was all very last minute and I realized afterward that I can't live off of the temporary orders and called to talk to my L about it and talked to STBX about it. He says that is all he can afford which is crap, he makes in ONE MONTH what I make in an ENTIRE YEAR. We had a nice chat about it and he said his intention is not to leave me high and dry but I need to agree to his offer and then if I need more money each month I can call him and if he has it he will send it. What kind of fool does he think I am??? So we are going to go through our Ls to work it out.

Then on top of all my heartbreak over the D, STBX tells me that our dear friend who visited with me and the girls in January fell and had a severe skull fracture and passed away. I am so sad over this. The friend is one of the nicest, most generous, loving men I knew. He was like a father to STBX and has been a lovely friend to me and the kids as well. So I will be going to Chicago on Tues/Wed to attend his funeral. I haven't told my kids yet, I will do it tomorrow, I wanted them to enjoy Easter without heavy hearts.

My MIL & FIL called me today to tell me that STBX is bringing the OW to the funeral. So I will have to go and face them together at an awful time and figure out how to deal with it. My focus is on my friend who's H passed away but this is killing me too. I do know quite a few people who will be at the service but they are all people that I met through STBX and I am worried that with all the activity and all the people that I will be left looking pathetic by myself with no one to talk to and STBX and OW will be showing off their R. I know I might not be giving these people enough credit but my friend and her family will be busy mourning their loss, as well they should be. I just think it is a crappy time to bring the OW out of the woodwork and flaunt her for the very first time.

My FIL wants me to sit with him and MIL at the services, but I feel like I will be interfering with their family then. Like I will be a barrier between STBX and his parents and I don't want to be that. FIL has no desire to meet OW and has voiced that several times but we are all faced with having to do it and in a really inappropriate situation for the meeting.

OW had lunch with our friend once for an hour or so and has never met any of the other people that will be there except for BIL. I have known this family for 19 years and I feel like OW has no right to be at this service. I can't believe that STBX cannot attend this funeral by himself, it's not like he won't have support there, his whole family will be there and all the people he grew up with.

I guess I am just being a crybaby. I plan to focus on making sure I see my friend and her children to give my condolences and then go to the airport and try to get an earlier stand-by flight home.

I hate these situations.
I hate that I am getting a D.
I hate that I have to meet OW and do so in a very public way.
I hate that I let it bother me.

On a happy note...

We did have a very nice Easter. The kids tried to swim in the pool today and realized that it was still too cold. They wouldn't listen to me, they had to figure it out themselves. \:\) We went to my folks and had dinner with everyone and played a little family baseball, frisbee and had an egg hunt.

The kids did talk to their dad, although only for about 3 minutes.

They are sleeping next to me looking like angels. I'm headed off to sleep too.

Thank you to all who have hung in there with me to read all of this.

Hope everyone had a Happy and Blessed Easter.

Love,
Shades