I called around 7 to talk w/ D, but she was in the tub. W made sure to state she was in the tub b/c she smelled like cholrine. I replied w/ "I'll bet. We didn't have any shampoo for the shower at the pool."
W said she'd have D call me when they were out of the tub.
I just got the following text from W:
Quote:
I have contacted a real estate agent - the house will be up for sale soon... unless your dad is buying me out. BTW, I showed our finances to a financial planner - he said you could not have handled our finances more poorly. Where did all the money go?
Ok, I'll admit I'm not much of a saver, but again, not only did I not purposely try to screw us over financially, but I did the best I could in trying to help us get ahead. She seems to think I've squandered our money on something, but I haven't. All of the records are open for anyone to look at.
Here is how I replied to W:
Quote:
I will need to have the agent contact me as I'm still in the house. As for the finances, I have nothing to hide. All the records are available and anyone can look at them. It is always good to get outside perspectives. I would like to talk w/ this planner as well. They may have good adivice. Send the info for both the agent and the financial planner to me via e-mail.
I started to apologize and say I did my best, but deleted that quickly and sent the text above. I offered my W numerous chances to take over our finances and even at times begged her to do so. She always turned me down. If I had known it was going to lead to a divorce filing, then I would have went to some professional help a long time ago.
W just sent a reply: "If you have nothing to hide, where did all the money go?"
I replied:
Quote:
We can match up the statements and find all of it. I have our stuff from the last four or five years at least. I think I probably have further back than that as I don't remember shredding any tax stuff. Look at anything. If errors were made they weren't made w/ mailce or ill intent. Remember, I offered several times throughout the years to have you take over the finances. If it will make you feel better, I will get you copies of everything to look at right away. Your lawyer will get copies in a few weeks, as per order, if you can wait. If not, let me know.
While I was writing that, W sent off "I look forward to reviewing the finances to see how you destroyed us finacially since the deadline for you to turn them over is tomorrow."
I repled that the deadline was too early and they aren't due until April and she should have the letter.
Oh, well. Still no call from W to talk w/ D. The bath was almost an hour ago and W said she'd have D call me in 10 minutes.
It is 8:06 and I just tried to call and talk to my D. W didn't answer the phone and I had to leave a message. W is able to yell at me w/ texts, but won't let me talk w/ my D before she goes to bed. Not cool.
W just sent another text saying:
Quote:
Good to know. Fact is a ton of joint money was spent w/o my knowledge or consent. You lied REPEATEDLY about money to control me. You admitted that...verbally and in writing.
I didn't reply to this one.
Before she filed for divorce, I told her that I didn't want her to know my dad had given me money to pay down credit debt b/c I was afraid our improved financial standing would have her want to run off w/ OM. At the time, she thanked me sincerely for my honesty, but now it is used against me.
Also, four years ago, a good family friend died and all my siblings and I had expected to receive money from him as he had told us he set stuff aside for us in his will. So, when I learned of his death, I told my W we could go ahead and get our landscaping done b/c I thought I had money coming in. I didn't do it for control, I simply made the cardinal mistake of counting chickens before they hatch. I learned a major lesson here, but it has obviously sat w/ W for four plus years. She's so angry about this.
I don't do drugs, gamble or blow money on prostitutes. I am not a saver. That is all. This is something we could have easily worked through, so I don't believe it is the crux of her wanting to leave. However, she is using it to fuel her anger right now.
I attempted to answer her in the best, most non-defensive way I could. I've even told her I'll work on geting her copies of our finances tomorrow so she can begin to look through them.
I'm sure I made mistakes, but I didn't make any mistakes that I'm ashamed of admitting. She is off-base here and that is too bad.
I just sent her a text asking for D to call me. W said the agent will be in touch. Interesting how she won't let me talk w/ the "finacial planner" however.
Oh, well. This post is very long. I'll go for now. I probably shouldn't have tried to be nice and answered any of her texts. I am doing my best to walk that fine line b/t covering my rear and DBing. It isn't easy and it really sucks.
