Why are you not going to help her build a garden - seems like some time together without having to think of things to say. Just talk about the garden. Gotta tell you, if my H asked me to help him with the car or trailer right now I'd be there. Just some time to be together.
As for the trash. Ask yourself, if you were interested in continuing a relationship with this person (regardless of how they are treating you right now) would you take out their trash. If the answer is yes then you need to take the trash out for your W.
Take the W out of the equation and make it friend.
As for the seat...it's one of those things that you find isn't important any more.
