I guess today went well I have just been very emotional this weekend. H came over, went to IL for dinner and that all went well. We did have a small R talk, brought up by husband. I'm just not ever sure how to act around him. I want to hang out and have fun but then I feel as though I set myself up for disappointment knowing he is going back to OW. I am not a patient person to begin with and these last 3 months seems like 3 years. He continues to tell me the same (he wants to work things out) but STILL does not take any action. I miss him so much, I miss hanging out I miss the affection, telling him I love him and hearing it back. It's so hard and so frustrating. I was doing so well these past 2 weeks and had seen some small changes and I feel like I completly ruined that this weekend. It's hard to constantly pretend like your life is okay when it's not. I feel so fake all the time. I hate being alone. Although I have been getting out and doing more it still stinks. I dont know how anyone does this for any length of time. I'm tired of the situation but NOT ready to give up just yet. I just know i need and deserve better than the way he has been treating me. How could anyone do this to someone they love and then just continue doing it when they admit it's wrong??????
