Yes, knowing they are a "couple" does hurt a lot. I think it also helps to explain why she is so nasty to me. He helps fuel that fire, I'm convinced, and she needs his prodding to help her validate her actions, words and accusations. Difficult for me to deal w/ and will be very damaging to D in the future. She doesn't care about what is best for D right now, only in jumping to another man to "rescue" her. He's a mess, so he'll turn on her eventually and D will see that not only did marriage not work, but male/female relationships also break down and don't last.
Update -- D and I did get to swim and she did very well again. Just like the ice skating last night, she really started to get the hang of using the kick board and was motoring pretty well. She also spent a lot of time under water holding her breath and then emerging to the surface w/ out fear. It was great to see her make such progress. I'm hoping I can continue to get her to be active w/ skating, swimming, or something as she seems to really enjoy it.
I got her a cheeseburger at McDonald's as she was hungry, we rushed home so I could shower and then prepared to meet W for the drop-off. W sent a text to me around 3:15 about the drop location and I double-checke the location then added:
Quote:
Let me guess-unmarked bills. Come alone. No cops.
It was an obvious stab at humor and trying to defrost the ice queen, but of course, it was spun around w/ her reply:
Quote:
Are you telling me you want me to give you money to get my daughter back?
I replied explaining the joke and that I'd be the one paying if she read it again. I then went on to ask her if she needed any small items outside of the power strip and extension cords she asked for and she said no. Thus, off we went.
D fell asleep in the car and I woke her as I was unloading stuff for W. W looked great, and I told her she did. I need to be honest, right? Anyway, I had picked her up some super sale St. Patrick's Day items at Walmart (cost me a whole $1.75) b/c I knew she would love them due to her Irish heritage. She thanked me for the compliment and these items and for a moment, it actually may have been real. Who knows? That's probably wishful thinking and just more of W's roller coaster self coming out.
I did say to W that I was busy Tuesday, but I was around the rest of the week (alluding to my time off for Spring Break and wanting to spend it w/ D) and she said to e-mail her about it. I'm sure this will come back as "my talking about visitation in front of D" even though I purposely did not mention the words Spring Break, visitation, or any other buzz word that sets off W. Well, come to think of it, right now, any words from my mouth are buzz words that set off W. I should start miming around her. Boy, if she finds me irritating now, just wait until I start miming.
I had added some other small things she had asked for and then I hugged D - who was crying b/c she said she'd miss me - put her in the car, told her I loved her, and I'd see her soon. I then told W about the dog's latest seizure and she was concerned.
I tore out of there to make it as easy as possible on D. On my way home, W sends the following text:
Quote:
Oh, you were bringing money to me in unmarked bills? That shouldn't be a problem for you considering all the cash advances you took on credit cards and equity line.
My reply was "What?" and I was so tempted to defend myself, but I refrained. In fact, I'm disappointed I put the "what?" reply out there. Oh, well.
I returned home and e-mailed her my break info along w/ an offer to load a rental truck w/ her stuff and drive it out to her when I'm picking up D this week. I asked her to simply split the cost of the truck w/ me and I'd drive it both ways. I even told her I could sit and wait at a neutral location and read or something if she still didn't want me to know where she lived. I'm off, she's mean, so I offered to be nice and play nice here. It will be hard for her to continue to paint me as a bad guy if I'm continuing to offer nice things for her. We'll see how it comes out. My guess is she'll turn it down, then try and say I've denied her her things. This is my proof I'm trying to be helpful.
I also included a note about taxes and a follow-up question about contacting a realtor I know. Again, I'll have to wait and see what she does, if anything.
I was bummed after the exchange and e-mail. I tried to be upbeat, but I'm really having a hard time believing she could ever come back. I guess miracles do happen and there have been other couples who have DB'd through worse, but I just have a hard time seeing it right now.
I'll keep plodding along and doing my best, but it doesn't really matter right now if I'm nice or distant. The result, unfortunately, is the same.
