Here's a great rule of thumb on the QT with your husband:
If you want to do it (say, go out to eat), because you had a hard day and could use the diversion -- then do it. But be the one to suggest it, and don't do too much of it.
However, if you're doing it because HE might get mad if you don't, or sad if you don't, or you "feel bad for him," -- EERRRRRNNNN!!! Wrong.
I think some "Neecy time" alone 1x/week, and a "girl's night out" 1x/week or 1x every-other week, where you don't keep texting him all night (but do come back when you say you're going to) would do wonders.
As my wife and I like to tell our D21 and D19: be a little less available, and a little more mysterious. Puppy
