Hang in there. She recognizes changes in you and finds them attractive. That's a good sign, if what you want is a restored marriage. It doesn't guarantee that, but you are in better shape than a lot of folks. That probably doesn't help ease your pain much, but she's showing that there is something to work with here. Only time will tell where this goes.
It sounds like your W is experiencing the pain, perhaps even a bit of denial, of parts of herself that she hasn't seen before, or perhaps fully acknowledged before. This can be a very painful process, as most of us don't want to do this work. She's not likely to quickly say to you or the MC, "You know, you are right, I am ....." or "I really was wrong to ....." Most of us don't own up to our faults quickly or easily. We prefer to blame others, or circumstances. Many people remain stuck there, so give your wife some space, try to resist your anger at her venom, and ask yourself how much you are willing to take and how long you are willing to wait to see if she changes to a healthier person, one you can have a beautiful relationship with. It sure sounds like she's pretty far from being that person right now.
Be careful about "believing is seeing." You seem determined to interpret things as proof that it's over. Maybe it is over, but maybe not. You don't seem to have final proof one way or the other right now. So, ask yourself why you are reacting that way. What fear or anxiety in yourself is being triggered? Abandonment? Something else? Was there something in your past that leads you to this conclusion?
I experienced last summer what you wrote about in your last post. I was sure it was over right then and there. I misinterpreted many things, because I had made up my mind and then went looking for evidence to prove I was right. Believing leads us to see what we want to see, and ignore or discount other possible explanations.
