I understand you so well! In the past I would have done that and more... Now I've learned (a little bit) to control my temper. Still cannot trust myself completely
I hope he WILL stick with the original plan.
I'm sure he understands how much pain he is causing you (hence his depression and sadness) and can forgive you for the outburst of emotion. It is only human!
(((((Thinking of you))))
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
I'm praying that cooler heads will prevail and that your H will stick with the original paperwork. I've lost my temper throughout this as well.. for me when I came down from the anger I felt empty and so very sad... I'm sure you feel the same. I found it makes it a little easier when you feel the anger rising the next time to reflect how crappy you felt afterward the last time.
All is not lost.. you're picking yourself up and DBing.. you've got strong spirit..
And you've got it with the validation and understanding. That is probably the one thing I've really focussed on and done a decent job through this DBing business.. and it did make a difference. I think it helped me get my H to the friendship stage.
I took D to our club today and she spent the day swimming and I got a tan while my parents are probably still digging out from 50cm of snow in NL!!! H picked us up and I asked if he was coming by tomorrow and he said he didn't know. I don't blame him after what went on Thursday. I told him I was very sorry for the way I've been treating him since he moved out and that he didn't deserve it. He isn't ready to accept my apology. Oh well what else can I do?
I guess it'll be just D and I tomorrow. Maybe I'll take her out to lunch.
Have a Happy Easter guys! God bless you all!
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
An apology for the incident is all you can give him right now. He is going to have to be angry about it for a few days. I REALLY hope he settles down. Right now just focus on D and have a great Easter. Make it a happy time for her.
Jen, Your H needs some time to calm down. You apologized for the incident. Now just give him space and continue to DB. H did pick you guys up - that's a positive sign. If your H doesn't contact you by early tomorrow, make plans for D and yourself. Don't make it seem like you're waiting around for him. Have a Happy Easter as well!!!
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
Hey! Not much really. Made french toast for breakfast then in the PM H came over to help D with some homework (stayed for 45 minutes). I asked him if he'd go out to dinner with us but he said that he couldn't. He said that after me telling him on Thursday that I didn't want to see his face on Sunday that I had to understand the consequesnce of my behaviour/words and I had to start acting my age. He said he forgives me for the outburst but that I need to realize I can't have my way the very next day. So he kept to his word and didn't go out with us. I can respect that. D and I went to Mickey Dees and then for ice cream. She's getting ready for bed now.
The thing is that today is also my 37th birthday and its the first time in 10 years that H hasn't been here with me. Probably be the only time in my whole life that Easter Sunday is also my Birthday.
I said I would go dark and that didn't go very well. I'll get back on the wagon again and try to stay dark for a longer time this time. I haven't called him as much as before but still too many times for supposedly being dark.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I'm sorry your day didn't go so well. Special occasions are so difficult to get through without our Sp.
I know all about blurting things out and then regretting it. I've gotten a lot better at biting my tongue. Try not to initiate contact unless it's something important about D. Let him actually miss you. Patience!!!
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
