I have prayed for guidance on what or even whether to say anything about all the things that are adding up.
he knows that I know he is a liar now, and probably is nervous that I haven't said anything yet. During church, before the Lord's supper, one of the elders told of walking his dog at sunrise this morning, and saying when he got to the top of the hill he prayed there would be someone at church who would be convicted of his filthy dirty sin, and repent of it. I think he may have been inspired by God about my H. None of the people there know about us. I hope my H will one day finally get the message God is sending him every single week, before it's too late. I mean he hears what is said in church, and has to know when something applies to him.
What I have been tempted to ask my H is if he thinks he should have moved out for awhile year before last so he could see if he wanted ow or his family. I mean almost three years, at least that this has been going on, when in the heck is is going to end??? He acts like he is going to spend his life with me, he says he is, but then he keeps secret cell phones, sneaks off to call ow, buys ow gifts. How am I supposed to take this?
He tells me he loves me, talks about our future, and yet... I feel I am being strung along to keep my mouth shut until he decides it's time to leave. he also wants me to go back to work, and says part-time isn't good enough for him, even to start out, he wants it to be full-time, and even asked me if the reason I don't want to go full time was because I think "they" (the courts) would give me less money if I was working full-time. I asked him who HE had been talking to, and he was really defensive about it and said no one. I think I know who. And I also think he would like to avoid giving me half of his pension, when he retires in seven years. Or really anything except this house. Which he has allowed to practically fall down around us, so, not much money in this house. That way he and ow can travel to those exotic places ow was planning for them when she planned ther future together. I mean nothing worse than having to take care of the ex every month with a check. Well, I have decided to NOT work full-time, but I will sell on ebay, and stuff like that, and when the three years are up, we'll see if he was really lying about his motives. Meanwhile, I can learn more on the computer, and stuff like that.
Well, I am being summoned by H and S to help with the clubhouse.
