Thanks GD for your comments. I am doing all I can to better myself, it just feels like its falling on death ears and eyes. I'm glad to see someone who is in my shoes with the sitch I am going through. How soon did you start DR after your seperation? Do you think that your W has noticed any difference in you?
My wife states that she feels that she has become independent, she believes since in her words that I was not there in the marriage that she became independant and she is fine on her own. I didn't realize what a jerk I was. I do know that I can change and will change but she will not be able to see those changes being apart which I believe is the hardest thing for me to accept. I felt everything was going fine in our marriage, I know we had our ups and downs but that is life. I just feel that she can't forgive me for the wrong I have done and is holding a grudge inside and will not let it go. We stand so much to lose if we go forward with this. If I only knew 5 months ago what I know now I would probably not be in this situation but I know I can't look at the past and dwell on it.
I have already started the seperation paper process in which to get the house on the market and trying to get my kids more often, she refuses to let them stay with me except every other weekend. These are the only two reasons I needed to start the process. I guess in some way I am hoping that putting the house on the market and having less time with the kids then maybe she will come around on her actions. This is probably wishful thinking.
She can't remember any of the good times we had together, in her eyes everything was bad. This is just not the case.
I went over to her house today to see the boys for Easter, we started walking the house to value some of the things we have, I made the mistake of trying to talk to her again about our M. I just don't understand how anyone can throw this many years away. We have two great boys that need there parents together. I just don't see that she will be coming around and accepting that our M can be saved. It's like the longer the S goes the more and more she builds up wrong doings that were in our M.
I am going to try my best to stop talking about our M with her. I know it will be hard.
By chance, during your seperation, do you think you could have done anything different that may have made more of an impact?
