You sound wonderful!!!! I'm so glad your sold all of your cookies and got more orders. I have never been to the One of a Kind Show. I'll make a plan to do it next year!
You are so talented with your cookies. I truly think this could be a profitable full time business for you!!!
Have fun celebrating your friends birthday and please make sure you accept the Easter invitations!
I am still in awe of your detachment. I really need to take some lessons!!
Please continue to keep us posted on what you're up to!
It made me realize though just how detached I am. For the first time I can honestly honestly say that I have dropped the rope. It's been over a week now of feeling this way...I don't really even care that H is acting all mad at me. This is quite liberating actually.
Wow - I really have not been keeping up. You sound like you are doing really well.
I'm curious what was the turning point was for you? Obviously nothing has changed with your H, and if he is moving in with OW, then that is certainly a significant new development. I take it your H is consistently negative towards you?
Sounds as if you and your kids are having a lot of fun!
I'm curious what was the turning point was for you?
When he told me he was moving in with her and in the same breath that he wants 60/40 custody of both kids come May 1st.
I realized a few things... He's going down this road with her and quickly. They say the faster they live together the sooner it may self destruct. Here's hoping. But moreso that if he is living with someone else and dragging my kids into this whole craziness with him, the best thing I can do is be their rock. I am not doing them any favours if I don't accept the current circumstances. Plus, then I'm not making the most of the time I DO have with them because I'm dwelling too much. It could eat me alive if I let it...and I won't. That's why I love the dropping the rope statement that I posted on Brit's thread...because it still says "you love your S and would love to see the marriage restored", but for me that is just not a possibility at the moment.
Quote:
I take it your H is consistently negative towards you?
H has become very angry and negative toward me since I told him that I would not give him 60/40 custody of a 6 month old baby come May 1st. I asked him to look at compromises and he said no, that is is compromise from 50/50. Also, he keeps mentioning that he has no money (duh) and that he's 'doing so much' by still allowing me to live here and him support me. He actually told me today that I should go back to work early. I'm so tired of him having a selective picture of the sitch. When it works in his favour he says it's in the kids best interest, when it doesn't....then it's irrelevent. Anyway, I could go and on about this one. We had a big fight this morning when he picked up S. He told me talked to his L and "the S#!T is going to hit the fan". WTF? My lawyer actually said that what he wants is "ridiculously unreasonable".
Anyway, Brit I don't know if I answered your question. But I obviously have some major decisions to make with regards to my children and to my home. I can't make these decisions if I'm clouded by the "what might be's" of H's decisions. I can not even imagine where we're all going to be a year from now, but I know one thing...if I'm not back with H, I'll be living a wonderfully happy and fulfilled life. But if I don't get to work on that now...then it's just procrastination.
Oh...and as soon as I started to consider myself single again...I'm getting all excited about the prospect of dating. It won't be any time soon, but it's fun to think about. I actually think it's kind of funny.... My H leaves me for a woman who is 10 years older than him and who has 3 kids. He's going to be living in a house with 5 kids and is moving right back to being married. I get to date! I get to find myself again and have fun. He's gotten himself more stuck now than he was before! Hee hee hee. J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
What a great attitude...especially about the possibilities in your own life! Your H sounds like he is angry because he isn't getting his way with custody. Seriously, what he wants is very unreasonable. D3 yes, but the baby no way! When H and I were separated and going thru the D process he was fine and nice until I stood up for myself about something. It was usually about money in our case and paying certain bills. Then he turned into this mean ogre. It baffles me to no end how they cause all of this and expect us to just keep getting walked on. At a certain point you have to put up your hand and say "NO MORE" and do what is right for you and your kids.
You are doing great
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I'm telling you, we need to get you going on that cookie business.
I need a new career!!
Hugs bear
Me 42-Him 40 T20yrs Married 16yrs 2/06 H- "not sure if i want to be married anymore" 6/07 H-"I'm not happy" 9/07 Admits affair & OW 12/08 I moved out 12/09 still waiting for divorce
Anyway, Brit I don't know if I answered your question. But I obviously have some major decisions to make with regards to my children and to my home. I can't make these decisions if I'm clouded by the "what might be's" of H's decisions.
It's certainly much more clear to me now. I think the last thing I really remember from your sitch was when you were very upset after he said it was over (again). You have obviously come a LONG way since then, which is evident from your latest posts.
Hopefully your H being thrown into an R with OW will make it burn out much quicker. My W is still back and forth with OM, even though there isn't any real relationship there at all.
I can relate with the ease of detaching and looking forward to a single life. When our WAS's have the kids spending time with OP, you realize that the rope must be dropped (and possibly burned).
A 6 month boy needs to spend a lot more time with a mother. Your H is crazy to think that he is going to get what he is after. He is just going to burn a whole in his wallet in legal fees.
I read that you were thinking of calling OW so as to set your mind at ease. I called OM and I came away feeling he was a good guy to be around my kids. I did not talk about his R with my W. You probably want to avoid that issue if you do call her. I dont think I can meet OM face to face yet as the temptation for a jab, straight right, left hook, lights out would be too easy. You too might just want to stick with a phone call.
My W has been living with an older OP (31 years her senior) and is now at the point where she wants to move out. Give it time, your H may break the heart of the OW soon too.
Still just amazed at your strength.. Good things are in store for you!! And it is so interesting that your H is tying himself down in another "Marriage".. and that he'll have 5 kids to care for.. He can't see through the fog it seems!
