Hi Mattie We maybe not always close by but most of us been in your shoes (my feet still hurt I got big feet) and we hate to see anyone going through it.
Post D day 1 I was asked out to lunch by a georgous lady 15 years my junior and I was too shell shocked to carry on an intelligent conversation. Not due to her looks but I could not carry a conversation with anyone. Needless to say I never saw her again which I knew was going to happen. Oh well no worries the sun did rise in the east day 2 post D.
My guess is you want to do is to get the pain the heck away from you and what you want to be is the vision you had before this mess started. A suggesion is to write the following down as a side note to your happiness journal.
A challenge is to start with a page, then reduce the verbage to a paragraph, and again reduce it to a sentence while keeping the original meaning intact. This will simplify the vision and sharpen your focus. Though it is not where you want to be it is an opportunity and let your imagination run with it.
If you can get competing visions of different areas. Then compare pros and cons. You are limited by walls that you build and a few other things (If you have Parkinsons we do not suggest to be a brain surgeon)however most limitations are self created in the toughest place your mind.
If things remain the same in your personal life with others what do you want to be within 5 years. This is not specific (I wanna be 10 lbs lighter) but a generalized vision of how you want others to see you and is equal to how you see yourself.
You do not have to stay true to that vision trust me it will change but it's a start. Many selp help books and solutions state (let's go) prior to a knowledge of where you want to be thus much time, money, and energy is wasted going really fast nowhere.
I'm alone this Easter as many other holidays and birthdays however that is not always a bad thing. My Marines are taking care of business and so far staying out of trouble
In dealings with others here or in person I may modify some behavior toward some but the basis of what, who, and how I am pretty much remains the same. That is the basis of success not the results of what others say or do but how myself is comfortable with the lifestyle and results. Comfortable means knowing one is doing what they consider the rightest (it's all grey never totally black and white) thing and doing their best to become there.
It's a vision for 5 years from now you will be able to say 'I yam what I yam' and be comfortable with it. The actual endpoint is always changing and as sharp as a jellyfish body so do not worry about the 'AH HAH I'M THERE' moment.
The joy is in the journey and we know the starting location is not happytown. It's not easy cause if it was this bb would not exist however it is worth it.
Keep ventin and never give up. You will do well even if you do not feel like it right now and You am what you am.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
