Had a busy day yesterday. H came home for his first visit with the kids. He usually never had gotten home before 7:30 or 8:00 and he showed up at 6:30 last night. I spent about 5 minutes talking to him friendly as usual, then left a little early to go to rehearsal so H could be with the kids.
H fixed our leaking toilet all night, was still working when I got home. I asked if he wanted a drink or anything and then left him alone. I talked to him a few minutes after he was done, and we were laughing over something, but he generally was really quiet with me last night. I then said I was exhausted and went to bed and he left I think a little bit later. I am really OK with the separation so far, and I wonder how he is doing with it? Karen
Interesting....Seemed like he couldn't wait to get out of the house....and now a few days later, he was there for quite some time. Could there possibly be a little uneasiness going on in paradise? Perhaps he just wanted to fix the toilet. Either way, it's a good thing.
You're handling this very well, Karen. Keep up the great work!
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Another busy day yesterday-saw my C, grocery shopping (got all the Easter Bunny stuff!), and had a 4 hour rehearsal, half dancing/half acting.
H has been emailing every day re: bills or misc. household stuff so my attempt to go "dim"-can't quite go dark with the kids and house I think, has not been that great. I didn't respond to H's email yesterday, but did today as he was wanting to know if I paid a bill or not (and I let him know I did). I feel so much more peaceful and serenity-filled with H out of the house, that part is nice. I don't find I miss him that much, at least yet, as I have been busy. I wonder if H misses the kids and I at all? Karen
This is really weird. H has emailed me already 4 times today, don't think he ever has emailed me so much ever...Weird...about an Easter Egg hunt he wants to take the kids too, a book he wants to find, etc...So much for going dark! I am only answering the emails that I have to respond to in an effort to go "dark or dim". But with all the emails it's tough...Karen
Perhaps he's not as detached as he has led you to believe? Or he's just trying to be amicable. But you just can't walk away from 18 years of M just like that. But I'm glad to see he's being decent towards you now. Maybe he just needed his space. That seems to be a big issue with some WAS.
Is this what most separations are like? I am seeing H just as much as before, but now he's acting more normal & not texting all the time! He was here 2 hours last night to eat dinner & see the kids until they went to bed at 9:30. Then showed up 2 hours early for an Easter Egg hunt today. He'd been running, so took a shower, and worked on the house a little bit. He just left now with D8.
And Sunday is another day he plans to see the kids tomorrow, so he will be here tomorrow & taking them out as well. I've been acting friendly with him, except last night I was exhausted and went to bed at 8:00 I was so worn out and left him to spend time with the kids. But I wasn't tired today so happy & friendly as usual with him chatted for a while (I'm a talker sometimes so hopefully he knows that)!. S14 and I are going over to paint now at the theatre (my home away from home!), so I guess H will come over when he is finished with D8... Karen
I have no experience in being separated, yet, but it sounds like things are 100 times better this way than they were when he was at home. Maybe his eyes are opening a little to what he was leaving behind.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Neecy, you are right--things are 100 times better! When he was living here, he just wanted to be with the OW, was out with her and/or texting her, but now he spent last night here, 9 hours today, and is planning on spending tomorrow with the kids too. It seems weird to me. If he is so happy with his new life and OW, why is he spending most of his time here??? Karen
Could there possibly be a little uneasiness going on in paradise? 
Perhaps he just wanted to fix the toilet. Either way, it's a good thing. 
Karen