i like your idea about daily goals. i was just laying in bed thinking how much i miss him and how i can't possibly go on this way. i really had to convince myself to get out bed this morning. why are mornings always the hardest??
but hey, at least i got one goal accomplished!! and i had a cup of coffee...yay for me!! haha
thank you for all your support and advice. it really does mean alot.
how are you by the way?
Me: 31 H: 29 T: 10 yrs M: 4 1/2 yrs 01/08: MLC 03/17/08: H moved out no kids 3 dogs
I'm fine- thank-you for asking. I feel pretty detached from my sitch to be honest-I would like to save my marriage but know I will survive {that's a deliberate very bad joke} without it.
Hope you are ok.
R you still meeting your H to-morrow?
I hope it goes your way.
I know the aim of the meeting is to discuss your R. I'm sure you've read in DB about no pleading/begging-Very difficult when you're in the depths of despair honey but do all you can to avoid it- you don't have to agree with what he says just validate it-say things like I didn't know you felt that way and sorry you felt that way.
If he asks why the turnaround in your attitude just say it's still not what you want but you respect his wishes.
Have you got some-one to call to-morrow in case you need to?
Your appetite is probably none existent at the moment- you probably feel if you eat anything you'll choke - I lived on smoothies and banana's for a few weeks-You need all the energy you can muster up to fight this so try to have something substanial. Drink plenty of water and maybe a vitamin supplement.
not sure if we're meeting tomorrow...haven't talked to him about it. i'm just really scared for what it will bring. i can't imagine that he could make such an important decision in 2 days. plus i know he's been out with his friends so i highly doubt he's done much soul searching.
yeah, no appetite plus i caught strep throat so i'm pretty much a big ol' mess right now! hopefully i can still look hot.
i wish i had your "i will survive" attitude right now. i envy you. every once in awhile i'll have a brief moment where i feel it but then something always knocks me down again. like i had a pretty good day today. hung out with my dogs and kept busy. then tonight i went to a movie with my friend and her boyfriend and i lost it driving myself home. it just seems like everyone in the world has someone except me. i've never felt such an intense lonliness. i think my dogs are the only trusworthy loyal beings in my life right now...pretty pathetic huh?
i'm glad you're doing well. keep it up. you are very strong.
thanks for the support!
Me: 31 H: 29 T: 10 yrs M: 4 1/2 yrs 01/08: MLC 03/17/08: H moved out no kids 3 dogs
Like I said you are in the eye of the storm right now-just take care of yourself-keep your life simple-come here often-the newcomers forum is very good-surround yourself with people who love you-journal you feelings
Nothing makes sense and the pain seems unbearable at times
Your H is not himself at the moment-whatever he says is BS-write it all down on a piece of paper and burn it{I did this daily-it seemed to help}
try to distance yourself from wot he is saying to you-Very difficult when your heart is being ripped out of your chest
Has your H finalized the separation? Did he move out to get some space or has he gone completely?
What are your expectations of the meeting with him?
Act as if your talk with him is going to go your way
No crying, pleading, begging.
I spoke to a DB coach which was really helpful
I was exactly like you-I couldn't see a light-I felt that not only had my future been taken from me but my but my past was a lie as my H said he had never been happy and we should never have married. I didn't know anything about MLC at that time. He was a particularly nasty MLCer-he said some pretty awful things about me-he counted out on his fingers the qualities he didn't like about me-he told that he never loved me but in fact he hated me at this moment because I stood in his way of happiness-he seemed to get strength from my weakness.
I felt like I was in a very dark place.
I had panic attacks for about 8 weeks- I cried every day for 6 months- sunday's were absolutely hellish for some reason.
However, time is a great healer
We all have our own journey and every body sitch is very individual so don't be too freaked out by the length of time it takes for most marriages to work out.
tc sweetie
Ps. try hot lemon and honey for your throat Gargle disolved aspirin[sorry don,t know wot american version will be called] Drink plenty of fliuds suck lozenges/boiled sweets
ugh! one moment at a time...exactly. i used to be such a laid-back calm person. right now i feel like some kind of anxiety-ridden freak. i went to the movies last night with a friend...it was supposed to be action packed but turned out to have a whole love story thing going on. i was sitting on the edge of the seat thinking that i was going to have to get up and run out b/c i didn't want to have a meltdown in the theatre. i'm alot of fun lately! haha
hope your morning is good.
Me: 31 H: 29 T: 10 yrs M: 4 1/2 yrs 01/08: MLC 03/17/08: H moved out no kids 3 dogs
Hi hope99, how was your today? It's tough going out solo in a couples crowd, you'll learn though how to adapt.
Do you need some GAL ideas? is there a humane society anywhere near? they always need volunteers. Are your dogs well behaved and you could take them to a nursing home? there are also programs to certify dogs for therapy.
The love we get back from our dogs is such a blessing. My dogs are always happy to see me, always have a happy tail, and happily accept hugs! They know when it's time to just be near me and show me love too. Dogs and horses are good therapy!
Keep your life interesting so when H looks your direction you can attract him to you!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
