I believe we quit on the back and forth summer/winter time thing this year, if that's what you mean. I am not quite sure but I think it was an EU decision to do it... I have to check.
We don't change the clocks here in Arizona, either, though most of the rest of the country does. It gets a little confusing!
Yes, I have a day in front of me, but you will help it get off to a bright start! It looks like a bright sunny day here, it is supposed to get to about 28C! I need to walk the dog, but I'll be back!
I finally made the call to my T or C or whatever. No news actually. He had not done the exercises, he has made no decisions.
Both Ts told him we need to discuss with the kids and his answer was " how can I tell them something when it's not done yet". That made me sad because it sounded as if he is trying get it done and not move forwards to us. My T didn't agree. She told me the only thing he is contemplating right now is "what will happen if I go back and we get "stuck" again" She believes this is the ONLY thing he is thinking about but he doesn't take the next step to either do it and make sure things will not be the same ot decide it's over. She thinks, and told him that, he is just sitting around watching his life pass by. He has no requests, no dreams, no will power to create his life.
He said that he followed her suggestion about demanding things he wants at his job and it worked. They will hire a person he wanted to help him out. A specific person. I knew about this but he has not told me he actually made it.
He promised he will have the exercises mailed to her by Friday. He admitted he feels sh^%8ty and that's why he gets sick often lately (a gf of his told him that, that lawyer again)(oh I just wish I could get her out of the picture, any suggestions? mess with her breaks maybe?).
I didn't like what I heard. My T says if it wasn't for the kids he would have come back and have left at least 3-4 times. The fact that we cannot "play" with the kids' feelings like that keeps him from doing it. I told her "or he would have proceeded with the divorce". She said "no, am I speaking Greek or not?, he feels miserable, he wants your life back just doesn't want it to become like it used to be the last year. And if he came back without working on himself you would be in the same position in 3 months guaranteed..."
The kids T told him he needs to talk to our S regarding FEELINGS.. Express his feelings and find out about our Ss feelins(that will be fun). She said, toys and movies etc do not fill the void. Do something, you have no more time.
BTW, our son's teacher let us know on Friday he has been very difficult the last two weeks. An he knows that.
So guys, another week in limbo land. He will be away for the next three days.
I'm sorry you didn't like what you heard. Though it sounds like the T was trying to tell you that you were not hearing what she was saying. It sounds to me like your H is as stuck himself. And afraid to do anything. So, but doing nothing, he thinks he can't do the wrong thing. Or course, that's wrong, but I think that is what's going on.
So, you get another week in limbo land! Let's try to at least make it a good week in limbo land!
Kalni, I'm sorry you still find yourself in limbo land. Of course, your children will continue to suffer. Boys usually act out while girls internalize their anger. Why can't the WAS see what their actions are doing to their kids? It really doesn't appear that your H is any happier since S. Arrrggghhh! I just don't understand their justifications.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
hey Kalni...Well done for phoning her! It doesnt sound all bad? When your T said - She said "no, am I speaking Greek or not?, he feels miserable, he wants your life back just doesn't want it to become like it used to be the last year. And if he came back without working on himself you would be in the same position in 3 months guaranteed..." So does that mean he intends to work on himself, or is that her interpretation of why he wont come back? I think you're very lucky at least that he reveals his inner most thoughts to this T and then she is happy to relay them to you! I wish I had that. Does he know that she repeats it all to you, or does he believe it is private? Anyway..knowledge is power, so well done for that.
Remember your stars for this week!...
Think of a seesaw. It remains level only when it is not in use. When one person sits on it, it shifts to an uneven position and stays there. When two climb on it oscillates endlessly. It never enters a state of perfect equilibrium. What's the problem? Well, there isn't one unless you feel, for some reason, that balance is very important. If you do, you can easily become irritated and aggravated by a scenario that just refuses to level itself out. Your challenge this week, is to accept a situation for what it is, not what you wish it was. If you can only do that, all will be fine.
Thinking of you, Ali xxx ______________ Me: 36 H: 34 T: 9 years IDLYA: 2 Nov 07 Own flat: 26 Jan 08 will he reconnect?
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Thanks guys, just left my Gfs. Memory lane night. I loved it!
Ali,
I am accepting the situation. Do I have a choice? Balance is important, I have found a way to "balance my life". So, I am ok. What about my kids? They sure don't feel balanced...
No, he doesn't know she is telling me so much. She is keeping things between them when he asks her to. She mostly gives me her oppinion about what's going on.
What she said could be either one of your "translations" as far as I am concerned...
Tonight I called to talk to the kids, he was mad at them, said they were impossible today. I listened, validated and was happy.
