Been a while since I've posted here. I feel, I've got a much easier situation than a lot of folks here as we have no children. We have been seperated around 6 months now I think. I've steadly been growing stronger and more relaxed, not where I want to be yet but I'm pretty sure I'm on the right course to get there. Really not sure where W is at, it's futile trying to guess, hasn't pushed for D but hasn't made any moves to come back either, when we do see each other she blows warm and cold.
Some little techniques I've learn't along they way that work for me I'd to share: When your feeling sad: feel sad, don't do it in front of your spouse or their friends or their family but get yourself to a safe place and let the sad flow, have a cry, say a few f**k its, whatever lets it flow for you. If you keep it corked you can't relax. You will feel better after. When your feeling angry: Play a little mind game, just suppose your spouse was gone, never to return, aducted by aliens, you know their not but what would you do if they were gone? What would you do? Why not do that now?
When your feeling desperate and needy. Try thinking of the not-so-good things about your spouse.
When your feeling like filing for D: Imagine an instant D was available, you can push a button and its done. Push the button, you've got your D, what's different now? What would you do differently? Why aren't you doing that now? When you are feeling happy and strong: Enjoy it, make the most of it, take note of what you did to get here, actually right it down, what thought or action got you here so you can try the same thing again when the next dip in the rollercoaster comes. If your feeling on a high and you see your spouse on a low be careful not to gloat. When you are feeling overwhelmed and confused: Take a break, go for a walk, a run, a ride, better still a holiday, give yourself time to relax and think and mull stuff over. When your feeling lost without a path to follow: Read DR again, read some other books.
