Hey Bumbling. Sorry to hear your H is contacting OW. You know, this crap just takes time to smooth out. I look at it as a process that simply needs to play itself out. I know...easier said than accepted...
There are a few ways things can go in everyone's situation: - One's S is gravitating towards OP. - One's S is on the fence and can't decide. - One's S is committed to being at home.
Seems like your H might be taking the middle road, which was the way it was with me while (about a year) my W was having her EA/PA. What does this mean, in my most humble of opinions? That he hasn't made a decision either way. He's as much admitted that he feels there's "no passion or desire," yet he continues to stay...I think because he knows these feelings can possibly change. Again...on the fence. I believe the best thing you can do right now is not pressure him because that may push him over the fence. Like KAW and I have mentioned previously, I think it might benefit you to really do your own thing...do some stuff that you've always wanted to that you've put off for a long time. Although extremely difficult, try not to let your H's erratic behavior upset you...try to detach with loving kindness. As awful as it is for you, try to remember that your H is hurting. Give him space to think about things while doing your own thing. Doing your own thing will likely make him curious, and hopefully, slowly gravitate towards you again.
My suggestion is to brush up on DR, do something(s) for yourself, and buy another book called "5 Love Languages." You're not out of the woods yet and patience is paramount right now.
