Help me act AS IF, Thread 4

[newnamenewlife]

I'm totally breaking down this morning. Crying. We are having Easter dinner for my mom, H's parents and my cousin. Only H's parents know what's going on. My mom is, as always, delighted to be attending an event given by "the ideal couple" as she calls us.

I just feel like cancelling the whole thing. I told H that and he got all grumpy with me saying we have to do it for the kids. Not an OUNCE of compassion or warmth when he sees me crying and hurting. This guy used to be the sweetest. I feel so alone, so abandoned by him and now somehow pissed at his parents for coming (they kind of invited themselves) when they know it's a sham.

I know, I have to and I will pull myself together for the kids and everything. I have to. I get NO credit from H for all that I do and all the ways in which I've rallied these past few months. I hate him.